Last week I talked about self-doubt, and how it may never really go away, but it doesn't have to run the show.
(And yesterday, I had the pleasure of interviewing Brigid Schulte, author of NYT best-seller Overwhelmed, and we talked about her personal experiences overcoming self-doubt. You can check that out here.)
Today I want to address the opposite of self-doubt -- CONFIDENCE.
It's what so many of us want more of.
You want to be confident that you're doing a good job with your kids.
You want to be confident that your marriage is strong and secure.
You want to be confident that what you contribute to the world is valuable.
When we're feeling self-doubt and wanting more Confidence, often we look outside of ourselves for more information. You read a how-to book, or ask for advice, or wait for someone to tell you 'You've finally done it, I now proclaim you Good Enough.'
And there is a time and place for gathering more information and getting feedback - of course!
But confidence isn't going to come from what other people think.
Confidence comes from being able to define this one word for yourself, and only for yourself:
Important
Taking ownership over this word, and making your actions serve what is Important to you, is the single most important step for feeling more confident.
And it's not an arrogant confidence, but a deep, soulful, this-is-true-and-good-just-because-I-know-it-is kind of Confidence.
It is a Confidence borne of making your Actions serve your Values.
What is IMPORTANT to you today in your relationship with your children? How can your actions serve this value?
What is IMPORTANT to you today in your relationship with your partner? How can your actions serve this value?
What is IMPORTANT to you today in your relationship to yourself? How can your actions serve this value?
Answer these questions for yourself and today you may just feel that vitalizing power of authentic Confidence.
Own what is important to you,
act in alignment with what's important,
and let all the self-doubt come along for the ride.
With love and optimism,
Dr. Jessica