I spent the weekend with an old friend from graduate school. He's my only close male friend.
I noticed something about him - he was able to talk about the things he does particularly well without qualifying or minimizing them and without sounding like a pompous ass.
He was also able to mention things I do particularly well, not to compliment or encourage me, just to state what is true. My personal favorite: "An acquaintance could tell you they spent the weekend with a gerbil up their a$$ and you wouldn't bat an eye."
I loved hearing his reflections of me, and it made me uncomfortable.
It is rare for women to own what makes them awesome.
We are all so afraid of sounding cocky, arrogant, self-centered, and superior. Good gawd, we would never ever in a million years ever want anyone to think we think we're superior. That's, like, the scariest thing.
Letting yourself be awesome isn't about being better than anyone else. It's just about you being you.
But not everyone is going to see it that way. If you're connecting with people who operate from a better-than or less-than model, they are automatically going to perceive your ownership of awesomeness as an attempt to make them feel less-than. Just because they feel that way doesn't make it true.
To own our awesomeness, we have to tolerate being mis-perceived as arrogant by those who are operating from a shame-fueled better-than/less-than place.
It is easier to tolerate being misperceived as arrogant when you are aware of the ways in which you being all you, letting all your brilliance shine, is GENEROUS rather than SELFISH.
When you let yourself be smart you educate and inspire others.
When you let yourself be beautiful you energize and inspire others.
When you let yourself be hilarious you liberate and inspire others.
When you let yourself be heard you validate and inspire others.
When you let yourself be innovative you challenge and inspire others.
The list goes on and on.
Let yourself be awesome. There is no risk in you being a cocky, arrogant a-hole. You are too humble for that.
You aren't looking to one-up anyone or make anyone else feel bad about themselves, you are simply looking to be who you're supposed to be and make the world a better place because of it.
Hey there. I'm Dr. Jessica Michaelson. I help women live fully self-expressed lives without running away from home. Click here to learn more about me.